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Top Ten Pick Up Lines Women Should Use
10. Wanna come play on my slip and slide?
9. If you were a naval captain, would you let me inspect your seamen?
8. This bra is so tight its uncomfortable.
7. You must know a good rain dance, cuz you’re making me wet.
6. Excuse me my lipstick rolled underneath your seat, mind if I get under you?
5. I was thinking of volunteering at the fire department, could I practice sliding down your pole?
4. How many licks does it take to get to the center of your tootsie pop?
3. Stick it in!!
2. Either I just spilled my drink in my lap or I’m really happy to see you.
1. Your face reminds me of a La-Z –Boy, I could sit on it all day long!
A women without arms or legs is sitting on a beach weeping. A guy walks by and asks her what''s wrong. She says, "I''ve never been kissed before." The man feels sorry for her and gives her a long passionate kiss and starts to walk away. As he''s walking he hears her start crying again so he goes back and asks her what''s wrong now. She says, "I''ve never had sex before."
The man sweeps her up in his arms, looks into her eyes, and tosses her into the water yelling, "You''re screwed now!!"
One day a man walks into a tatoo parlor and tells the tatto artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tatooed on his dick, the tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him. The man says. "Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesnt have to go to the mall"
Annoying Boy on Bus
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
''NO!'' yelled the blonde.
The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.
''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.
Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.
''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.
''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''
The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''
You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering!
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